Feelings of disloyalty

December 12, 2008 § 14 Comments

I always equate Karachi to a couple of fast fun filled weeks, a reunion with Cousins, a couple of dawats, dinners, good food and a flight back home. I was questioned once, if I’d like to live here permanently, and I balked at the question.

Not because I don’t like the Country [And in this case, city], but I can’t imagine myself living here permanently, or adjusting to the environment, culture or people. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those snobby sophisticated female with an army of servants at her beck and call, in fact, i don’t like servants because I feel horribly sympathetic towards them. [And according to my Mom, this doesn’t help them either, as that way they don’t get any employment].

I just think its naturally hard to think about living somewhere else when you were born and raised in a different Country, environment and culture. Or is that just me?

The longest i’ve stayed in karachi is a period of two months and by the second month, i was really longing to go back home. Yes, Karachi  is a fun filled city, but when I over exceed my limit of staying here, I start feeling suffocated. The influence of bollywood/hindu culture, lack of ‘practicing Islam’ and the preference of culture over religion irritates me. I feel that people here aren’t so aware of  what is happening around the World and are so excessively involved in themselves and family poltics [not to mention gossip!].

This is probably an issue with me, but my Imaan on the whole tends to drop when I’m here. I guess that also has to do with the fact that back home, I have an environemnt of friends who I’m on the same wave length with, who I can have intellectual conversation with and they are there to help me rise when I’m on the down low when it comes to spirituality. The Prophet Sallalahu alayhi wasallam has said, that a person is on the religion of his/her friend. And it is encouraged for this reason to keep good righteous company, so that practicing your religion is easier, as your friends are there to encourage you to do good and not evil.

I’m the sort to keep ‘active’ with whatever political and religious issues that are happening in our World right now. I like reading the newspaper. The only time I actually do open the T.V is to watch… news [Or Animal Planet/Cartoons :P]. Over here, I feel so cut off from all that. All people have on their channels are bollywood films instead and I have a hard time ‘connecting’ with any of the females here [So far my Cousins that i’ve encountered] when it comes to politics and/or religion.

I’m not saying that all females  or males in Karachi are dimwitted people, this would be an insult to some of the ladies and families I know here and I understand that all sort of people live in a Society. But the above is a observation made in general.

And so, I’m not so patriotic. Yes, I feel a certain bit of liking  and I feel a tug  towards  the Country and I’m concerned about its religious and political affairs but I’m not terribly ‘in love’ with it.

Is it such a sin, being unpatriotic or feeling this way? Is it so wrong – to be unable to say ‘I love Pakistan?’ Or are my feelings balanced and natural because I haven’t technically been involved with this Country except for maybe vacations and weddings? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t *hate* the Country, but my feelings towards it are very neutral, I do however want it to grow and flourish and I defend it when it needs defendng. [So, I must feel something].

[Islamically, I know i’m justified though. Nationalism isn’t exactly encouraged in Islam. ;)]

What do you guys think? Be honest and feel free to disagree. 🙂 [You won’t be hurting my feelings! :P]


§ 14 Responses to Feelings of disloyalty

  • Hira S says:

    I’m confused. You feel guilty about not connecting to a country that you’ve barely lived in? Why? A lot of people spend their lifetime here and don’t think they connect to this country. And this works for citizens of any country, not just Pakistan.

    Home is where you feel you belong. Be it Pakistan or anywhere else. You don’t need to feel loyalty for any place just because it’s where your parents were born.

    And if you’re here, call me!

  • Thanks hira. 🙂 lol, what you say makes sense. I guess its because, well, technically, I’m *supposed* to be feeling immense love? but khair.

    e-mail me your number! I spoke to KW. :))

  • karachiwali says:

    i hate the influence of hindu culture here too and its only getting far more visible by the day…kum kun ki chooriyan aur tulsi ki saarian!
    as for not being able to connect with most females here, its been quite a long time since i moved here from abu dhabi and i still cant connect with most of the females that I meet here on the daily basis, which even includes my cousins.

  • farooqk says:

    ive been here four years and ive connected with quite a few of them females 😉

    wese karachi is the bomb when you get used to living here. Ive learnt that you dont have to subscribe to the hindu culture and shit really, you can totally diss it if u want. Wese women here live with a whole lot more luxury than they do outside, they just dont appreciate, ungrateful people… 😀

  • farooqk says:

    oh and btw, you suck! 😛

  • KW: lol, i know how the cousin bit feels. I do connect them on a certain level, but thats it. I cant exactly talk politics or religion with them, although thats sorta changing now.

    Speaking about the influence of hindu culture, i recall all the ‘rasmay’ that would happen at weddings, including in our own khandaan a ouple of years back, totally unislamic. Although they’ve been abolished now.

    Farooq: I’m sure you must have!! ;P Actually thats true, my Mom says the same thing. With all the ‘kaam walis’, ‘cooks’ and the ‘drivers’ here, it is definitely easier compared to outside.

    You can diss the hindu culture, but its so embedded in our society that you’ll be angering a few people. Besides, it won’t really make a difference anyway or change a lot of things in the long run.

    And why do i suck??? :O

  • and, you actually read the whole thing? congrats! 😛

  • farooqk says:

    lol i read the first three paras and the last one! 😛

  • farooqk says:

    you suck cause i said so! 😀

  • easypie says:

    I survived 10 months over there 😛
    i’ll write more later lol

  • farooq: I should’ve guessed.

    easypie: 10 months?! congrats!

  • Brickwall says:

    Umm.. may I know which part of the world you have got to live in where culture is not preferred over Islam?

  • Well it depends actually on what type of society/household you live in. I know a lot of families who live more accordingly to religious values than culture.

    There isn’t anything inherently wrong with culture on its own, however the problem arises when certain cultural practices clash with Islam [and therefore are unislamic], [and people tend to follow that more than Islam].

  • MAK says:

    As for u couldn’t stay here for more than two months, i think that was cuz u don’t have activities to keep u busy. If u can establish ur “Home Town” routine in any city then i think there should be no problem in living in that place. for u karachi is just place where u can have fun for some time and then fly back.next time when u are in town try to live like u are living in ur home town….this will make ur stay here more tolerable.

    Now for the influence of culture over religion. For me its but natural to think and act as your society is doing. if u are not then u are not normal or in other words u are too strong willed. This is a quality that not many ppl have.

    Its not necessary that ur frequency matches with every other cousine. that can only happen if u can choose ppl as ur cousine as one can choose his friends.

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