Jumping the Marriage Bandwagon…. Not.

March 22, 2009 § 13 Comments

It seems everyone around me is getting married, including blogger friends. At times there are baby seasons, where every other female I come across is having a baby and then there are marriage seasons where every other person is getting married. Oh – there are divorce seasons too – when almost everyone is going through a divorce.

It’s unsettling – because then the spotlight is on you and all the married matchmakers – including friends – turn traitor on you and try and start hinting on how they know XYZ who would make an ‘absolutetly wonderful husband.’

I don’t know if I’m being cynical or pessimistic or abnormal – but sometimes I wonder – with all the talk about finding the right husband and marriage – is getting married the only purpose in a Womans life? What happened to developing yourself as a person – manners, character, skills, education, learning the religion & refining yourself?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the last thing from being a feminist – but there needs to be a balance when it comes to a Womans role & Marriage. Although I think part of the problem lies with Women themselves. We need to get past the view that if a Woman isn’t married or is divorced – it’s the end of her World. Sure – do plan on getting married – but don’t make Marriage the existence of your life.

Anyway coming back to the original subject of the post – it isn’t nice being singled out and pressurised. Especially when it’s your best-friend trying to hook you up with her brother. What in the world do you say about that?

Or your Uncle who is trying to hook you up with his Son – and it is so obvious. And the Son? You’ve discussed his girl-friends with him and hes confided in a lot of things he used to do before.

Í’m putting my foot down for a couple of years before I start looking/considering Mr Perfect. I’ve got so many plans – like climbing the Mount Everest and sailing down the Nile. 😛 (I kid.) Realistic plans – like finishing all my education and helping society at large and doing those things that I want to do.

Although I think some of my pessimism stems from the fact that I’ve seen some very close people to me go through some very horrible times and divorces. Marriage is a bucket load of responsibility and no Cindrella. Whenever the talk of marriage and ‘Me’ are mentioned in the same sentence, I tend to feel as if I’ve got a noose around my neck and I’m about to choke.

And I know there are going to be comments about how Mr Perfect doesn’t exist 😛 All I have to say is – it depends on what your definition of ‘Perfect’ is.

Anyway – I’ve got two weddings to attend the following week and surprisingly they’re both absolutely halal. By Halal – I mean segregated. And that in turn means I get to dress up AND show off my clothes. 😛 That also means, that I need to loose the 5 KGS i’ve put on in the last few months. Sigh. [I also need to go shopping for a dress…]


§ 13 Responses to Jumping the Marriage Bandwagon…. Not.

  • Leena S. says:

    In our society, getting married is actually the ultimate aim of life for all women. Thats wats inclulcated in girls since they are like just 2 minutes old! Each and every action is supposed to somehow compliment that ‘purpose’ in life and there’s nothing wrong in it if thats the only thing expected from you. But khair, dont worry at all things will turn out great for you Insha Allah. As for the pressure, I can so relate to that..I have been through that myself. But dont just accept a proposal solely cuz of the pressure and obviously marriage simply doesnt mean that you should put a ‘full stop’ to your own life. Insha Allah you will find someone who will supportive in watever you want to achieve in life. As for considering your best friend’s brother….ummm…no harm in considering him cuz you at least know everything about him. *looking for a place to hide* 😛

  • Ok, Since I m getting married to “a best friend’s” sister, take my advice and dont do it if you have even a little doubt about it, cuz as much as it may sound like a good idea, it can come back to haunt you too. So stay clear of people you have known earlier. find someone you have not had any relationship with and try to know him (I wont propose how) before you get ‘engaged’ ! Of course they can be from the family, my emphasis is on the prior relationship. My reason is that people have difficulty morphing the old relationship into the new one and it can turn uncomfortable at times.

    In short, THINK a lot before you take the leap!!!!

  • Absar says:

    Don’t listen to saffi – he has a habit of complicating things 😉 I think the trick for you guys is not to think about it as much as people would like you to. Because people want you to think about it all the time 😛 I don’t understand why it has to be such a big deal for people! I mean, yeah, it is a big deal, but koi balance hota hai yar – this isn’t the only thing you’ll ever do in life, and this certainly isn’t the end of it all. There’s no formula to it, at all. As Mark Twain said “All generalizations are false, including this one.” 🙂

  • Is nt that what I just said?! You nut!!!!
    R-E-A-D C-A-R-E-F-U-L-L-Y!!!!

  • And since when did you started qouting Mark Twain?!

  • Sumera says:

    its a real shame when people make marriage out to be a destination and a goal rather than a phase of life. It needs to be kept in perspective, otherwise you end up in Disneyland and expect fluff to float about and birds twittering around your head.

    There is more to life than being a wife. And I wish people realise the immense talent and capabilities they have.

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