Gah

June 23, 2009 § 17 Comments

I’m not going to panic because there is no point in doing so. I’m drowning, yet again in a mountain of work that I need to work though. See what happens when I procrastinate and leave things till the last minute? 😦

I have to:

  • Listen to the Tafseer of Surah Maryam Verses 1 – 4o because I skipped class today and the tafseer is for 2 and something hours. Then I need to study the Arabic of the verses. This is due tomorrow.
  • I have to finish two Fehm Al Quran Papers for tomorrow.
  • I need to revise Arabic Grammar and this is something I don’t like – Arabic Grammar is. hard.
  • I have a hadith test tomorrow and I haven’t touched my books.
  • Need to review my memorisation of Surah Kahf first 15 verses for thursday. [Only thing I don’t have a problem with as such!]
  • And on top, I need to be present for the fundraising event happening tomorrow for Swat.
  • I’m not getting time to work-out in all this and im so out of stamina. I volunteered somehwhere one day and we had to pack boxes, when I got home I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I just slept. The next morning, my whole body felt like a truck had driven over it. I don’t think i’ve ever felt so unfit in my life. :S I miss the gym days…

Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

My Cat went and fought again and has a wound which has puss in it on his cheek. Need to go to the Vet, but the dear vet doesnt sit until 5pm!

Oh and, I SO dont need some of the ‘added complications’ in my life.

😦 😦 😦

Oh and I can’t believe I didnt mention I don’t have my own Car. So I have to depend on the ‘house’ car when its free! I hate this. Sniff. Hopefully my Dad will get a new car, and Ill have the Camry to myself. Will make things so much easier.

And I don’t understand why some people think that just because I’m studying the Qurán for a year and a half I won’t complete my University education!!! :S

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A Victory for Pakistan

June 22, 2009 § 2 Comments

Congratulations Pakistan for winning the t20 Cricket WorldCup and doing a good job. 🙂 Especially happy for Afridi, his performance was excellent.

I’m also happy because this victory will bring much needed happiness to the people who are IDPs and the current turmoil the Country is in.

Thoughts on Swat happenings

June 15, 2009 § 13 Comments

I’m involved in one the relief organisations involved in sending relief to Swat and other IDP’s and therefore I’ve been keeping upto date with the situation currently happening in Pakistan.

And lets just say, I’m totally disgusted and appalled to hear that some of the cities are going to refuse to give government aid and/or let the IDP’s in their cities. What is wrong with people? Especially the ministers?

The Country is in absolute turmoil, this is one of the largest internal displacement in the World and its as if Pakistanis within Pakistan don’t care. And are more concerned about ethnicity and other such political separatist crap. Ugh!

Not to mention, I’ve personally gotten news that food sent by UN was taken in by people and is being sold outside the camps when the people inside are going hungry. How can anyone be so cruel?

Pakistanis need to come out of their crap hole of ethnicity and cultural issues.

I’m so pissed right now. In fact, you know what? I’m now happy i don’t have feelings of patriotism towards the Country. I’ve always felt apologetic about that. I’m glad I was born and brought up outside so I don’t have the cultural baggage that comes with being a Pakistani or the feeling of ethnic differences that children are brought up with since their young. It’s not like the Country doesn’t concern me, but at least I give justice and right where they are due instead of looking at things with a cultural or ethnic lens.

First accident… dent

June 5, 2009 § 18 Comments

You know how things go wrong one after the other?

Yeah well, I’m in a bit of a mess right now. Whilst taking the Car out of the supermarket parking lot today evening I without realising it brushed against the car on my left. And now there is a bump/dent on the right hand corner up-front of  the blue coloured camry. Thank-God nothing happened to the Jeep it brushed up again. I was going to leave [I know… I’m a scaredy-cat] but this guy came and picked up something that fell from my car, [I don’t know what to call it] and he fixed it for me.

Anyway, now I need to deal with the huge dent. And its right above the headlight. I’m nervous.

I don’t know if I should tell my Dad or not… I know I should, but I’m being a wuss again. I’ve told my brother and he said he’ll get it sorted out when he comes back, but my Dads going to find out anyway when they go to get it fixed.

I can’t decide what to do. 😦

What if I’m not allowed to drive for the next few weeks? That would just kill! Not to mention, my Mom already gets scared when I leave the house and I’m driving.

😦

I wish I could go back in time.

Grumbling again

June 2, 2009 § 7 Comments

I am officially a depressed person. [Re: Read my previous post]

Everything sucks and I want to do something drastic. Or cry. Or pull my hair out. My heart feels like its contricting on its own.

Sigh. I don’t know whats wrong with me.

😦 I hate restrictions sometimes. I have an urge to rebel so badly.

And on top, I know the situation is not as horrid as I’m making it out to be.

But anyway, I’m wallowing in self-pity. Join me. 😦

Another side note, I’ve been asked to a re-union by some girls I knew in high-school. Girls who i haven’t seen or met in a while and well… girls who haven’t seen me in Niqaab. I’m nervous and I’m tempted to back out, but thats me being a wuss. They know I wear it obviously, because I sent them a message to not get ‘shocked’ and besides they knew I used to wear Hijab anyway in high school. I was really hoping they kept it as someones house so I didn’t have to cover, but no, it had to be a mall.

But besides that, Hijab is still understandable. Especially to Non-Muslims. But Niqaab is another thing altogether. I mean, I don’t know how they’re going to react… especially the ones who don’t know zilch about Islam. 😦

On one hand I want to meet them badly and see what everyones upto and how is everyone faring. On the other hand, I’d hate the negative reaction if there was any.

Lets see. Sigh. Maybe I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt.

I hate being babied! [Sometimes]

June 1, 2009 § 4 Comments

I am so frustrated and angry right now. Yes, I KNOW i wrote a post a while back that I won’t be blogging but this place is for me to rant and rave and I needed to turn somewhere. My other blogs are far too serious.

Right. I hate it. Absolutely freaking hate it sometimes. I dislike having a stupid 9:30/10:00pm curfew [Can’t believe I’m admitting this on here…] and it runs in the family. My Dads policy: no matter how old you get, if you’re living under him and you’re his daughter, you have to come home under a certain time. So yes, my 33 year old sister STILL has a curfew when she is over and shes married!

To a point I can understand, they’re our Parents, girls aren’t supposed to be out so late and they’re also pretty accomodating sometimes when they know its a wedding or whatever, but sometimes it just irritates me when I’m out somewhere and it gets lates and the calls start coming in.  Not to mention, it’s highly embarrasing when you need to accounce in between people that you need to LEAVE because its getting late and you have a curfew.

I know for a record its not about trust, my Parents know I won’t be out doing anything wrong, like walking into a club or going out on a date with some guy. In fact, I’m more strict about things like religion then they are. No, the problem is safety issues and no matter how many times I tell my Parents its absolutely safe, even after dark their curfew alarm doesn’t stop blinking.

I mean, I even wear a darned Niqaab when I go out! If that isn’t an armour on its own I don’t know what is.

Usually I’m the most chilled person about this, I’m back home on time and all that jazz, but sometimes its so freaking frustrating when you’re out somewhere doing some  social work or wherever and it gets late. I’ve been volunteering recently to sort out donations for SWAT somewhere over here, and sometimes it gets late.[ The other day i came home at 11 pm] So that day they were cool about it as I’d called and explained that things were being shipped off and we needed to work till late.

But today was an absolute disaster. Something or the other turned up and I couldn’t go and help put. I’m very passionate about these things, not to mention I’d told people there I’d be turning up today to help out as shipments were being transferred.

Anyway, finally, the car comes at 8pm. But lo and behold! My Mom throws a fit out me driving at 8pm. She goes and tells my Dad and I’m told not to go. I don’t understand why my Mom doesn’t still trust my driving… She thinks I’ll crash everytime I drive just because I got my license recently. In fact she still hasn’t sat in the car with me yet.

I want to bang something. Literally. Or shoot someone.

It sucks being the youngest sometimes. Because no matter how old you grow, you’re still the baby.

On a totally random note, I absolutely love the respect you get from Muslim Men if you wear Hijab or Niqaab. Totally makes my heart smile. [Not to mention that it sprouts fear in in their hearts and makes them uncomfortable, mwaha]. I’ve been working with a couple of your average decent Muslim Guys for the past few days, packing and sorting things and I’m the only Niqabi there. Some of them won’t even look me in the eye for more than two minutes, I think the Niqaab automatically makes them look somewhere else, which although is a bit funny makes me think it’s utterly adorable. And obviously I’m given a wide berth should I walk into any place. 😀

And then you have those rare cases who are actually interested in you regardless of the fact that they can only see your eyes, hands and hear your voice, and although they do it respectfully and indirectly, they don’t fail in professing their ‘interest’. Hopefully I won’t be having to deal with anything ‘serious’ by the time this campaign is over. It’ll just make things horribly awkard. Ahem.

Where Am I?

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