In the Passage of Time
September 6, 2009 § 53 Comments
One of my very close friends, who is almost like a Sister to me just announced yesterday that after much consideration and istikhaara she has agreed to a proposal which has come her way. A part of me was ecstatic for her because I know it was a hard decision for her to make. She is one of those few ideal Women who is beautiful inside and out, does normal things like go to University but at the same time also cooks like a star and is religious. She’d get a lot of proposals and she nearly got married to someone who she found out just in time that he still had a girl-friend stacked up somewhere. But alhamdulilah, both her and I have a good feeling about this one. I was hoping she didn’t just agree to his out of pressure, but she seemed happy so inshaAllah not.
Another part of me was still in a bit of shock though. Wasn’t it just yesterday we were kidding around about the most silliest of things? Not to mention, it’s a bit difficult acknowledging that you’re finally, officially grown-up.
It’s amazing how things just take their course as life goes on. I remember so clearly, just two months ago we were all sitting at one of my friends house after dinner and we had a discussion on numerous issues which were troubling us. Either it was discussing divorce one of them had gone through, issues at work/university, the lack of ‘good Muslim Men [no offense what-so-ever ;)]’, issues with Niqaab or what we were planning to do with our future.
In a span of one and a half-months, two of them are now married. One of the other ones is in her 6th month of pregnancy and the other is geting engaged. Not to mention, one of my very close cousin just called me from Pakistan and told me shes getting hitched too. Two of my other friends have shifted to the UK and one of them sent me an e-mail the other day saying she was planning to travel the World before she settles down. Knowing her, I know she’ll do it.
Life has the tendancy to take you through different phases which you probably wouldn’t even think off. It’s interesting how things change – but I suppose that is the plan of our creator considering life could become down-right boring if things didn’t change.
And me? I can feel the pressure building, but I’m refusing to acknowledge it. Ultimately right now, I’m not ready for anything. Although according to my Sister, I’ll keep telling myself I’m still a kid until I hit my 30’s. [Which doesn’t sound like a bad plan after all…] 😛
On an interesting note, one of my major rejection points would be that the guy wouldn’t be ‘okay’ about me wearing Niqaab or we’d be on totally opposite ends. Now, I feel God is testing me by sending me the people who are actually more than okay about it. It’s almost like a slap in the face. :@
Her Writings 
oops, youre caught in the chain, like that movie final destination where everyone in the chain dies one by one, except in your chain they all get married one by one! It wont be long before you’re married, i bet six months and youll be on the other side!! Best of luck!! *evil grin*
Now you can go panic or whatever, but six months, max. I bet. Enjoy it while you can. muahaha
P.S: this comment mightve been driven by your recent comment about me on kw’s blog :@
haha you sound so.. evil and full of revenge. 😛 Hit a nerve did I 😉 hahah
And, oh, ill last much longer, just wait and see.
im just being brutally honest! 😛
of course i will. See your wedding that is 😀
P.S: if youve started working on the guest list, dont forget to put my name on it. And also, since there will prolly be a wedding dinner, dont forget i like pudding for dessert. muahaha
MY GOD! Don’t wait until you are 30 to reproduce! Everyone I know (who started in their 30s, including myself) wish they could have started in their early twenties–more energy, less pessimistic, less time to become hedonistic and selfish ; ) Seriously. It’s too bad we were too distracted/crazy/not ready at that time.
Also–do as much as you can NOW, like your friend traveling the world, because life does change, and your circle of movement will become smaller by necessity (you’ll see when you have kids who turn cranky if up late). Any of that traveling, religious learning, masjid voulunteering—Do it NOW!
Love,
Ancient Guri Auntie of 34
lol, you make it sound so… mechanical. 😦 And I might say it, but I think I should be getting married before 30 inshaAllah – but hey you never know, might even hit my 30s as being single so I’ll keep your advice in mind. 😉
And yes, I’m trying to take advantage of my single life freedom before my time is up! I know how it gets after you get married and have kids, things get utterly hard to do. Especially, if God forbid, your husband isn’t supportive of your extra-curricular activities.
*I’ll keep telling myself I’m still a kid until I hit my 30’s.*
Then what am I ? :o. I’m not even so close to 20 and Farooq calls me a kid, tell him, you’re a kid too then 😀
Haha, Farooqs a bit whacked. 😉 Don’t mind him.
And we’re all kids at heart no matter how old we grow! 😛 Oh and appreciate the years before you turn 20.
you should all sit together and start an anti farooq blog 😦 😡
i hope youve thought up names for your kids, wont be long now since youre getting married and all! 😀
And the URL should be .. http://www.anti-farooq.wordpress.com .. ? 😛
haha good one – actually I think its an awesome idea. If only I had more time to contribute to this. *insert evil smiley*
My Uni is starting too or else I’d love to contribute to that! 😛
Nobody wants to really stay unmarried, except me of course! especially the chicks!
Waise what is your reason for delaying? We get to hear such lame reasons to stay unmarried these days…. I have nt completed my education, I m not that old, I m still too fat, I m too thin, yada yada yada. Pul eazzzzze say whats on your mind! Everyone is shit scared of getting married! Thats the only reason…. except me of course, I just dont want to get married, I m too comfortable living alone. Hehehehe
Actually the I haven’t completed my education excuse is a pretty valid one. Especially these days when divorce is on such a high rate.
Besides those, I have quite a few. Lets just say I know when the time will be right for me and it isnt just now at this moment. Oh and, I’m comfortable being single too! So I’m with you on that.
Heheh. Tell me about it! Of all my school friends, I only have one single friend remaining. Everyone keeps going SHAH! Tu bhi kar le! over me! 😛 Sometimes I wish I could be 22 again, just to avoid these conversations! 😛
But to be very honest, I don’t really get this I don’t want to get married ‘just yet’ thing that’s so popular these days. I guess I’ll never get whats so scary about marriage anyway. Sure, it’s a responsibility and everything, but I think that people shouldn’t stay single too long. I mean, there’s a certain age where you can enjoy some things – things that seem appropriate for a certain age.
And LOL! I agree with Farooq here. Six months tops! 😛
high 5 to you man! 😀
Well, if you hear the amount of craziness involved in marriage these days you’ll understand the scariness bit too. The point is, its a gamble and a risk. You never really know who you’re ending up with and thats the scary bit.
Not to mention, people are a bit whacked these days.
Stop ganging up on me! You all suck. And I’m not getting married anytime soon – in fact, I’m sure I’ll see one of you hitched before I do. Bwaha.
Today one of my friends just announced she got her Nikkah done last Friday! And she didn’t even let us know – sigh. But I don’t blame her, it was one of those quiet deals. 😛
We’re all dropping like dominos! 😦
i dont think any of us would mind!! 😛
and wow, last week huh, that’s fast. Looking at your environmental conditions, I think six months is too much time! 2 months, MAX!!! 😉
I hope youve started your wedding shopping?? There’s a lotta work to be done i bet!! 😀
LOL @ Farooq! Yeah, especially with the tailors busy with the Eid season as well as the shadi season 😉
no wonder H rarely ever comes online anymore, bohot busy hogi bicharee. Koee baat nahi, thoray din kee bat hai, today shes buying shadi ka jora, next thing you know shell be buying diapers for her kids, as recommended by aischa 😉
Absar: ha ha – very funny not! Wait, weren’t you going to Karachi in a few days? Hmmm, now we know why! 😛
I’m not going to Karachi to become a part-time tailor. Though that would cover the cost of the trip 😛
Nice try to turn it over on me, not gonna work though 😛
Whatever you guys, whatever. Bhaut faarigh waqt hai dono kai paas.
And I AM busy, but definetely not for those reasons. *shudder*
2 months. Max. I be shush now. 😛
Relax. Getting married isn’t as scary as it seems to you right now.
You remember all my plans? SCAD, New York City, work, house with neem tree in the middle etc? Those dreams are still there. Things don’t change just because your schedule got rearranged a bit. You’re never ready to get married. There’s no moment that you say “O.K, i’ve done it all. Now find me a guy/girl”. When the time is right just close your eyes, pray, and take that step. It’s not as hard as you think.
I’m praying for you- not that you get married :P. But that whatever happens, happens for the best.
😮
*rubbing eyes*
Now I’ve seen everything!
Dishkiyaon! (Punjabi style gunshot)
I think in the midst of all the replies above, this was one of most sanest ones. 🙂
Thanks Hira!
is H me???
There’re no diapers in my near future. No frigg’n way am i ready for diapers!!! Not in a decade atleast!!!
H is purple. She plans to have babies immediately. Hence the diapers. 😀
LOL!!! Rehne do, rehne do, tum apni baat pakki honay se pehle shadi ke baaray mein bhi aisi hi baatien karti thien! 😛 A year from now you’d be spotted in the diapers section of a supermarket, with a baby (or two :P) strapped to your husband 😛
Farooq, say what – give Hira a year or two? 😛
1 year, max!! 😀
Yeah, I never understood why marriage is “SCARY” for the women folk…. All you have to do is sit back and relax. While we have to get bald over how to provide for your wayward lifestyle! Argh!
Khair… Women are such hypocrites! Abhi dil hi dil main saari khush ho rahi hain!!!! I have yet to see a girl who actually has a valid reason not to get married. All the excuses I have seen YET are cries for attention!
That is just pathetic!
Oh come now, you don’t see how it’s scary for women? Can you imagine someone leaving her folks and living with someone like you? 😛
Yeah, for my fiance it should be…. But for the rest, I dont think so.
Ok sure, you are scared of a new setting and all that jazz… But look at the damn excuses over here. “Mariage is so over-rated and blah blah blah”
Sure its scary… but SCARY? I dont think so. Besides, women do (all so desperately) want to get married.
Now I actually think I should start watching all those rom-coms…. cuz they are actually true!!!
To that I’d agree. It’s scary, sure. For both men and women, but the marriage is over-rated thing is just total crap.
Exactly…. and they think people who actually believe in marriage to be stupid with their high and mighty intellectuality! Thats a bull!
Khair…
PD: I really hoppe you are not part of that lot, or in the words of the Judas Priest…. You ve got another thing coming!
Hehehehe!
And here I actually thought women were more mature than me!
I’m so tempted to disable comments for this post, lol.
1) I don’t have time to reply to ALL of them.
2) I don’t agree with all of them!
Oh and, that thing about all Women wanting to get married in their hearts and outwardly making excuses does not apply to everyone.
Yes it does!
this is the most fun post ever!! 😀
Totally!
Fun – at my expense!
On a side note, I went to visit my neighbour yesterday.
This is how our conversation went [They are Morrocan/Jordanian Arabs and the Wife is a friend of mine]
‘So H, my Husband thinks you are a really nice person and he was wondering why you aren’t married yet.’
I – Right..
‘He offered to find you a husband.’
…. ‘Actually… I know this Guy who is originally Yemeni but has lived her for a while…‘
I – ‘Are you trying to matchmake?’
youre gonna marry a yemeni!! Yuck!! 😛
and what about poor mr.cat? uska kia hoga bicharay ka? 😀
Yemenis are not yuck people. Some of my favourite Ulema are Yemeni and the Country has its beauty. [Oh and It’s not nice to call anyone ‘Yuck’ – We’re all the creation of Allah subhanna wa ta’ala]
[But that doesn’t mean I’m marrying one though… yet]
Oh Mr. Cat will go wherever I go.
Reminds me of a song!
“… whereever you will go…
… …. ….”
Ok I dont remmember the words!
I guess its a new song so I obviously have nt heard it much…. but its catchy.
You know what… I was going to propose again but since you are eloping with Mr Cat, I ll cut the poor guy some slack, you know if you said yes to me he’d be heartbroken and all!
Mr Cat aint no ordinary guy. You cant compete with him. He’s got killer looks and he’s a poet of sorts. 😀
safi.. is it the one by The Calling… :O Dont ask how i know! lol [and if it is, its not new! :P]
haha safi, what will you do, when you propose someday to some random woman and she actually says yes! 😉 then you’ll be in trouble, tsk tsk.
Or, we could just link this to your fiance…
Sure, I think she would nt mind, being a muslim and all (which implies polygamist or at least open to the idea).
Heck I might even tell her myself to make the conversation interesting, conversations with fiances get to be boring in general without a lethal dose of adrenaline.
Im going to leave replying to the comments on here until after Eid. Last few days = me busy = too precious = lack of time.
Assalamu alaikum,
Just came n saw this post.
“the lack of ‘good Muslim Men'”
Ha ha. It was coool.
When I discuss marriage with my friends we say
“the lack of ‘good Muslim Women'”
Anyway prayers for you to get a good one.
Wa Alaykumsalam,
Haha, i think its the current phenomenon when it comes to finding a spouse. Especially within Muslims.
Welcome to the blog.. 🙂
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