October 2, 2009 § 4 Comments
I want to back in time and be a kid again. I want to go back to the days where the only concern would be colour-pencils or barbie dolls and playing with toys. Where I’d daydream about Snow White and the Seven dwarves or Cinderella and Goldilocks and the three bears.
Back to a time where responsibilities didn’t exist, where I didn’t have to make major decisions or deal with the craziness that we call life. A life that seems so mundane sometimes, repetitive – an absolute… nothing. We eat, we laugh, we talk and we go into our graves. Back to where we came from and yet we think we’re immortal creatures who walk this Earth, never dying.
Best of all though, I want to go back to a time where I wasn’t accountable for my actions. When nothing was written down by the angels on my shoulders. Sometimes, the enormity of what we call life engulfs me and I want to sit in a corner and never leave. One day it’ll all be over. One day, the spirit will be taken out of our souls and our loved ones will wash our bodies. We’ll be so helpless, so utterly helpless then. But we don’t give up on being proud now, being arrogant, being disobedient. And worst of all, being disobedient after we realise what we’re doing is wrong.
Isn’t it amazing? How we’re so involved with life, so engrossed that we’re heedless about death. About being answerable for our actions and our lives.
What I’m terrified of, is this, of being among the people who will say this on the day of judgment:
وَهُمۡ يَصۡطَرِخُونَ فِيہَا رَبَّنَآ أَخۡرِجۡنَا نَعۡمَلۡ صَـٰلِحًا غَيۡرَ ٱلَّذِى ڪُنَّا نَعۡمَلُۚ أَوَلَمۡ نُعَمِّرۡكُم مَّا يَتَذَڪَّرُ فِيهِ مَن تَذَكَّرَ وَجَآءَكُمُ ٱلنَّذِيرُۖ فَذُوقُواْ فَمَا لِلظَّـٰلِمِينَ مِن نَّصِيرٍ
Therein they will cry: “Our Lord! Bring us out [of hellfire], we shall do righteous good deeds, not (the evil deeds) that we used to do.” (Allâh will reply): “Did We not give you lives long enough, so that whosoever would receive admonition, could receive it? And the warner came to you. So taste you (the evil of your deeds). For the Zâlimûn (polytheists and wrong¬doers) there is no helper.” (Surah Fatir:37)