The beginning of the End

October 17, 2009 § 15 Comments

When I first started this Taleem Al-Qurán course nearly a year ago it felt as if I had a lot of time on my hands. A year and a half seemed a long time away but time just tends to fly by.

6 Months & 10 more Juz’ to go.

In the next few days I finish my 19th Juz of the Qurán and that will start my official countdown to the end. I’ve come to realise 6 months isnt a long time, time just tends to fly by and you don’t even realise it.

I’ve come to love studying the Qurán, its Tafseer, come to love my environment, come to love the deep attachment I’ve developed with the Qurán. In the next 6 months I’ll complete the whole Tafseer of the Qurán and Arabic Grammar including some other Fiqhi books bi’idhnillah. I’m so glad I’ve done this course, alhamdulilah, its increased my in knowledge and thought me so many things. I felt as if I was reading the Qurán for the first time in my life although it was a book I’ve opened for so many years with and without translations.

The question that comes to mind is, how many years do we dedicate of our lives studying the beloved book of Allah subhanna wa ta’ala compared to the amount of years we spend studying and earning dunya? How much ilm of our own deen do we have compared to the ilm we strive for of the dunya?

On the day of Judgment the Prophet sallalahu alayhi wasallam will be a witness against those who have left the Qurán wrapped in cloth on their highest shelves and only take it out on weddings or funerals:

وَقَالَ ٱلرَّسُولُ يَـٰرَبِّ إِنَّ قَوۡمِى ٱتَّخَذُواْ هَـٰذَا ٱلۡقُرۡءَانَ مَهۡجُورً۬ا

‘And the Messenger will say: O my Lord! Verily, my people deserted this Qur’ân!’

[Surah Al Furqan – 30]

It’s been a beautiful journey, a journey of light and guidance, a journey of attaining sacred knowledge [although my knowledge is still a drop in the ocean] and love and fear and understanding. A journey of gaining the pleasure of Allah and actually recognising my creator. My only regret is that in these two years that I took off to the study the Qurán is that I didn’t start hifdh side-by-side. I almost feel as if I was cocooned in a protected environment of nothing but goodness.

I’m scared though. I don’t want it to end. I don’t want the sweetness in my heart to die, i don’t want my Imaan to go do low on the scale. And a part of me is afraid, how will I deal with the Qur’an after this? The attractions and attachment of dunya is deadly and so is your own nafs. It’ll be going back to secular education after this, back to a co-ed environment and being caught up with dunya. Maybe not to such a large extent but it won’t be like these moments now.

Seeking and attaining ílm of the deen comes with a responsibility – that of spreading further and secondly, anything you do wrong, after knowing its consequences fully will have double the punishment.

Will I be able to fulfill this responsibility? Will I be able to give the Qurán it’s haqq?

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