Re: Man claims fiancee hid behind Niqab

March 2, 2010 § 9 Comments

I originally posted this at Al Emarati – another blog I’m a guest-blogger at. Also this incident is a little old now I thought it was still worth re-posting.

This story has been the talk of the town since it hit the newspapers. And quite frankly when I first read it I was groaning with despair because Niqabis so do not need another Media bashing right now.

Ultimately though, it isn’t exactly the Niqab [face-veil] to blame but the people involved in it. However the story is written in such a way that it makes delicious food for the Niqab-haters out there.

A Man apparently married a Woman who wears the Niqab and didn’t properly see her before they got married, finding out too late that she had quite a bit of facial hair and was cross-eyed.

Dubai: An Arab ambassador said he decided to call off his wedding immediately after he discovered that his wife-to-be, who wears a niqab, was bearded and cross-eyed.

The ambassador claimed that the bride’s mother deceived his mother, when she went to see his Gulf national wife-to-be, by showing her pictures of the bride’s sister.

The Arab man, who also holds the title of minister plenipotentiary, claimed to a Sharia court judge in Dubai that the bride’s family showed his mother photos of the bride’s sister and not the woman he was going to marry.

Sources close to the case told Gulf News that the groom only saw the woman a few times. He did not realise that she had a beard because she wore the niqab the few times he met her, added the source.

First of all, islamically, it is the right of the Man and the Woman to look at each other before they marry and this is proved from the authentic narrations of the Prophet Sallalahu alayhi wasallam.

  • The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When one of you proposes to a woman, if he can look at that which may encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so.” [Sunan Abu Dawood]
  • From Abu Hurayrah [RA]: “I was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him, ‘Have you seen her?’ He said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Go and look at her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar.” (Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34)
  • From al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah: “I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Have you seen her?’ I said, ‘No.’ He said, ‘Look at her, because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.’” According to another report: “So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along.” (Reported by al-Daaraqutni, 3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)

From the above ahadith it is a consensus among the scholars that it is allowed for both spouses to look at each other before they get married. Obviously the Man in question did not do so – instead he relied upon pictures and was deceived by the daughters Mother. Who is to blame here? Definitely not the Niqab.

Which brings me to another point, how could anyone, especially a Mother deceive her future son-in-law like that? Not to mention, she should’ve given her daughter at least some sort of therapy at least before marrying her off. Also, deception about physical attributes is one of the reasons a person can annul a marriage.

Read the original story here:- Link


Nasheed for Hijabis [By Ahmed bin Ali Al-Ajami]

November 15, 2009 § 1 Comment

Came across this and I loved it. Shaykh Ahmed bin Ali Al-Ajami has a beautiful voice – especially his Qiraat of the Qurán. 🙂

Stay strong if you wear the Hijab or the Niqaab – in the end, the ajar is with Allah SWT.

May Allah subhanna wa ta’ala give all our Sisters sabr who are facing problems be it at home or from the government because of their Hijab or Niqaab. Ameen.

In the Passage of Time – 2

October 7, 2009 § 15 Comments

A friend of ours we thought we’d never see again came back to Dubai for a surprise visit. All of us met up again today and it was nice. A chance to dress up, the smiles, the food, the laughter, the discussions and updates over coffee. Alhamdulilah for good friends. When you have friends who you initially meet while treading the path of deen, you create a special bond between yourselves which is unlike any other friendship.

Yet again, as time passes, changes happen. Life is never stable, never set in one specific way. Just as after Day there is Night and the Creation is in a constant state of movement, likewise our lives are in a constant state of change and that in itself is a blessing otherwise we’d go crazy.

We’re so ungrateful though, I feel sometimes I’m put in situations or that real-life incidents are brought to me so I realise how ungrateful I am.

A friend of mine has a cyst in both her ovaries, what does that mean? She can’t ever have babies. She just got married recently and is in her early twenties. But Allahu Aalam, if Allah wishes he can bless anyone with children, its the tawakkul in Allah [swt] that counts. A beautiful example is of Ibrahim & Sarah [AS], Sarah was a barren woman and yet Allah subhanna wa ta’ala blessed them with Ishaaq.

But We gave her glad tidings of Ishâq (Isaac), and after Ishâq, of Ya’qûb (Jacob). (71) She said (in astonishment): “Woe unto me! Shall I bear a child while I am an old woman, and here is my husband, an old man? Verily! This is a strange thing!” (72) They said: “Do you wonder at the Decree of Allâh? The Mercy of Allâh and His Blessings be on you, O the family [of Ibrahîm (Abraham)]. Surely, He (Allâh) is All-Praiseworthy, All-Glorious.” (73) [Hud]

Anyway, we also ended up discussing a whole lot of other things. Like prostitutes – we know a Sister who is a councellor for Muslim Women prostitutes, and as scary and depressing as it may sound some of them are as young as 13 and when they leave their houses wear the full Abaya & Hijab. This girl still plays with dolls and looks like any other young innocent girl when you look at her. Depressing world isn’t it? But a lot of them have been sold by their own families, especially when the Iraq War happened because they couldn’t feed their children. One of them said, it’s humiliating at first… but then you get used to it.

We also has a discussion marriage, how you should end up enjoying your singlehood to the max [halal way ofcourse] & I’ve also realised, I’ve got a lot of freedom, in so many ways, thats its well… addictive. My Parents are okay almost most of the time if I want to go anywhere as long as they know where and I’m home before my Dad is. We also have this trust bond between us where my Parents know I won’t do anything wrong and as long as I’m safe, I’m set to go.

And in amidst all these, all my friends phones were ringing, guess who was calling? The hubbies. Wanting to know if everyone was okay, if they’re reached and when they’d be returning back home. Sigh. We’ve come to the conclusion that Men are over-grown babies. 😛

Another friend of mine got divorced, first one though but shes decided to go back. And I’m happy for her, because i think they’ll get their problems sorted out this time inshaAllah.

But marriage is such a gamble. How do you know your spouse wont turn out to be an abusive, cruel psycopath? Or that the sweet person he/she present themselves to be in fact, turns out to be a facade and they have a dark sinister side to them you never knew about. You hear all sorts of stories these days because people have become so hypocritical. I guess you just have to have faith.

… I scratched the Camry. 😦 And everytime I go out to open it, the dent stares back at me. No, not an accident alhamdulilah, I was parked somewhere and trying to leave without hitting the car parked close behind me, i ended up denting the side of the Camry with the door of the place. Surprisingly, my Dad isn’t as upset as I expected him to be – there are advantages of being the youngest of the family, female, puppy eyes and hugs. However, I don’t know what to do about the dent and the scratch, when you send the car to get serviced they ask you for a police confirmation receit and we dont have one, well, because i thought it wasn’t uh, important to call the Police. *sheepish*.

PS- We’re all so excited. A friend of mine gives birth in precisely a month! 😀

Reviving Our Sense Of Gheerah

October 5, 2009 § 6 Comments

By Sister Fatimah Barakatullah

We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married!

They have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don’t mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and women. The Prophet (SAW) had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions were known for their Gheerah. All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

“The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…” (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34).

Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed discription of this evil characteristic can be found in adh-Dhahabee’s book of Major Sins (Kitaab ul-Kabaa’ir).

A story of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa’ (RA) the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq (RA) and sister of Aisha (RA), relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughterAsmaa’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam (RA) who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa’ relates:

“When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…”, so Asmaa’ had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I used to carry on my head,” she continues, “the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah’s Messenger (SAW) had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger (SAW), along with a group of his Companions.

He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a man having the most Gheerah . The Messenger of Allah (SAW) understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah (SAW) met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah.” So Asmaa’ declined the offer made by the Prophet (SAW). Upon this az-Zubair said: “By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him.” (related in Saheeh Bukhari)

Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa’! See how she felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband’s feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she didn’t want to upset him by accepting the Prophet’s (SAW) help even though the Prophet was the purest of men and even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! And look at az-Zubair (RA), even though he had a lot of Gheerah, he didn’t want to inconvenience his wife. What a beautiful relationship they had!

Nurturing our sense of Gheerah

Sometimes Muslim women don’t understand if their menfolk want them to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings out the beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face – by Allah, be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you do and so never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters. And his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk’s sense of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us to do something that it not Haraam, we must do it.

And Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to walk around attracting the attentions and evil-thoughts of other men? How can you not mind if she smiles as she talks to other men. Nobody has the right to enjoy her and her company but you and her Maharim men. You are not being overbearing if you first encourage and then enforce the hijaab on your womenfolk because YOU will be asked about it on the Day of Judgement and it is also a major sin upon YOU! It is upon the men to enforce these things in their homes and you cannot use the excuse that your wife didn’t want to. Women need a firm, balanced, guiding hand from their men, so with wisdom you must enforce hijaab in your home. You are a shepard and are responsible for your flock!

Allah reminds us all in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

“Oh you who believe, Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones.” (At-Tahreem, Aayah 6)

There is a big difference between how Islam values and protects women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam! As Muslims we have to be careful that our Hayaa’ (sense of modesty and shame) and Gheerah don’t wear out in a society in which people have lost it.

Geert Wilders: Fine Women for wearing Hijab

September 30, 2009 § 18 Comments

This Man… is not a Man. He’s a pathethic excuse for a Man. Honestly, the stupidity he comes up with is just… ridiculous.

Geert Wilders said women observing the Islamic dress code or Hjiab should be fined 1,000 eu ros (1,461 dollars) per year.

The leader of the liberal-right Freedom Party PVV made his remarks during a parliamentary debate about the government’s budget plans on Wednesday.

“Everyone who wants to wear a headscarf, should first apply for a headscarf license,” DPA quoted Wilders as saying.

Read the whole article here: Source

What will it be next? Ban Women from covering their bodies? Or has he failed to realise that the Hijab is not just a Muslim covering but worn [albeit in a different manner] by Jewish Women too?

May Allah SWT protect our Sisters’ in Netherlands who wish to practice their deen. Ameen.

Ramadan thoughts 4: How Can a Menstruating Woman Observe Laylatul-Qadr?

September 10, 2009 § 9 Comments

I normally wouldn’t have posted something like but there is such a lack of knowledge within Muslim Women themselves regarding this concept that it’s worrying. A lot of Women think they shouldn’t do any ibaadah, especially during Ramadan if they start menstruating which makes them miss out on the ajar available during Ramadaan.

Excellent article on what Women can do:


Dear scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. If a woman is menstruating then how can she pray in Laylatul-Qadr? Jazakum Allah khayran.


Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, thank you very much for having confidence in us. We ask Allah to guide the whole Muslim Ummah to make the best use of the blessed days of Ramadan and to seek the great blessings Allah grants His sincere servants during these days.

As for your question, you have to keep in mind the fact that during their menses, women can read the Qur’an and make dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and du`a’ (supplication), though they are forbidden from fasting, performing Salah (prayer) and touching the Mushaf (copy of the Qur’an). In this way, they still have the opportunity to observe Laylatul-Qadr (the Night of Power) by reciting the Qur’an and making dhikr.

In his response to the question in point, the prominent Muslim scholar, Dr. Muhammad Abu Laylah, professor of the Islamic Studies & Comparative Religions at Al-Azhar Univ. states:

A menstruating woman should not perform Salah (prayer) nor touch the Qur’an, but she can make du`a’ (supplication) and share with other Muslims their prayer by watching and listening to TV channels or radio stations that broadcast Tarawih prayer live.

She can ask someone to put the Mushaf on a table or a stand and read from it without touching it. She can take a cassette and listen to Qur’anic recitation.

Stressing the permissibility of a woman reciting the Qur’an in their menses, we would like to cite the fatwa issued by the Saudi House of Fatwa headed by the late Sheikh `Abdul-`Aziz Ibn Baz (may Allah bless his soul):

There is nothing wrong with a menstruating woman or a woman in post-natal bleeding to recite the Qur’an, because there is no clear-cut authentic Hadith that forbids them from doing so. However, it is reported in an authentic Hadith that one who is Junub (one in a state of impurity following sexual intercourse or wet dream), must not read the Qur’an while he or she is impure, according to the Hadith reported by `Ali (may Allah be pleased with him).

The Hadith reported as regards the menstruating woman and the one experiencing post-natal bleeding reads: “The menstruating woman and the one who is Junub are not to read Qur’an”. This Hadith is reported by Ibn `Umar, but it is Da`if (weak), because the Hadith was reported by Isma`eel Ibn `Ayyaash from the Hijaaziyeen, and he is famous for narrating Da`if Hadiths from them.

However, such woman (in menstruation or post-natal bleeding) should not touch the Mushaf; she can recite from her own memory [or from a copy of the Qur’an without touching it, as per the above opinion]. As for the Junub, he or she is not to recite the Qur’an, whether from memory or from the Mushaf, until he or she has performed Ghusl (purificatory bath). The difference between them is that the time span for the one who is Junub to have himself or herself purified is very short; he or she can do Ghusl right away after lovemaking or wet dream. The Junub does not stay in this condition for long, and it is up to him/her when he/she wants to make Ghusl; if he/she does not find water, he/she can do Tayammum (dry ablution) and then he or she can pray and read the Qur’an. But the woman in menses or in post-natal bleeding has no control over her situation – the matter is up to Allah the Almighty.

Therefore, it is permissible for them to recite the Qur’an so that they do not forget it and they do not miss learning the teachings of Shari`ah from the Book of Allah. If that is the case, then it should certainly be permissible for them to read books containing du`a’ that are mixed with verses and Hadiths, etc. This is the view believed to be the most correct.

Finally, Sheikh Muhammad Iqbal Nadvi, Imam of Calgary Mosque, Alberta, Canada, and Former Professor at King Saud University, Riyad, Saudi Arabia, concludes:

A menstruating woman is not supposed to pray. She can do the following:

  1. Read as much as she can to increase he knowledge about Islam.
  2. Make du’a’ and spend time making dhikr to Allah Almighty.
  3. Listen to the Qur’an or read from her memory.
  4. Watch Islamic programs or shows on TV or video to educate herself about Islam.
  5. Attend religious classes to be always around the committed sisters.

Working-Out… Not

August 20, 2009 § 19 Comments

The other day I ran on the treadmill after nearly a month and to my horror I was tired within 15 minutes. The reason why it was such a ‘horror’ was because I could run/jog on the treadmill for about 30 minutes non-stop.

That just shows how un-fit I’ve actually become. Sigh. It’s not just about loosing weight, what concerns me more is about fitness. You could be thin but not fit, if that makes sense.

I feel bad, I used to be involved in basketball, inline skating, horse-back riding, swimming and gymming. And now it’s almost nothing, my body has probably gone into shock.

To make things worse, although this is a Muslim Country, there aren’t a lot of All-Womens gym around because most of the people living in this particular city are Non-Muslims. So when there is no demand, there is no supply. The one I did go to, was crap compared to the mixed one and they were charging extra. I told myself I’d be able to do the same thing at home, but the motivation isn’t exactly there

I trained for horse-back riding for nearly four years. That is something I absolutely love, but back then I was just a Hijaabi, with Niqab it isn’t exactly err possible. Well I’m sure its possibly technically, but it’s not something I would have the guts to do. There is an all-Womens riding club, but its in another city and its going to be difficult getting there, especially with the traffic.


To top it all, I love food.

Where Am I?

You are currently browsing the Womanly Issues category at Her Writings.